Common signs of Domestic abuse

  • Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
  • Prevents you from going to work or school
  • Stops you from seeing family members or friends
  • Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear
  • Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
  • Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
  • Threatens you with violence or a weapon
  • Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
  • Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
  • Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it

    Domestic abuse to a partner generally means abuse to the woman in a relationshiop.
    - Women may be afraid of strangers, but it is a husband, or boyfriend who they really should have more fear of
    - 2/3 of acts of violence against women is committed by men that know them
    - approximately 1,500 women a year are killed by means of domestic violence
    - approximately 3.2 million women a year are abused by a spouse or significant other in the United States

    external image domestic-violence-1.jpg
  • Domestic Violence: "Why Women Stay"

    It can be truly confusing to people on the outside looking in, wondering why a woman would stay with a man who beats her.

    Those who don't understand say things like, "I'd leave him in a heartbeat if he ever hit me -- it would only take one time!"

    And yet, despite repeated assaults, -- which can include trips to the emergency room, irreparable physical damage, alienation from family and friends, deteriorating self-esteem, children who live in fear, repeated calls for police protection, and threats of death, -- many women remain with the men who abuse them.

    There can be many reasons, with more than one contributing to the problem. The categories are not discrete, with many overlapping characteristics among the arbitrary divisions.

    redcheck.gif [[#Safety|The Safety Seeker]]:
    It may be familiar, and oddly enough,
    a comfortable lifestyle.
    redcheck.gif The Blind:
    Not realizing it is "abuse."
    redcheck.gif The Worthless:
    "No one else would ever love me."
    redcheck.gif The Defective:
    "I deserved it; I'll do better."
    redcheck.gif The Manager:
    "I can keep it from happening again."
    redcheck.gif The Gullible:
    "He's really sorry, and it won't happen again."
    redcheck.gif The Pretender:
    "I know I make him sound terrible, but he's
    really a good person most of the time."
    redcheck.gif The Defender:
    "He didn't mean to hurt me."
    redcheck.gif The Caretaker:
    "No one else understands him the way I do."
    redcheck.gif The Fantasizer:
    "But I love him."
    redcheck.gif The Martyr:
    "He isn't hurting the children;
    if he ever did, I'd leave."
    redcheck.gif The Helpless:
    "I can't support the children on my own."
    redcheck.gif The Hopeless:
    "He'll kill me if I try to leave him."
http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/domviol.htm
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/wo00044
Occasionally the man is abused, but more often than not, it is the woman.
http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
-the incidence of domestic violence reported men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.
- it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse

external image batteredman.jpg external image 0039566.gif

http://www.menweb.org/battered/



-?
There are many reasons why we don't know more about domestic abuse and violence against men. First of all, the incidence of domestic violence reported men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates. In addition, it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse. The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.
The dynamic of domestic abuse and violence is also different between men and women. The reasons, purposes and motivations are often very different between sexes. Although the counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women, there has been very little investment in resources to address and understand the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men. In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others when men are abused. For example, it is assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or playing contact sports. Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.


external image domestic_violence_against_men.JPG